Anticipation

I had my latest doctors appointment. It went well. I am still dilated to a 1, he still hasn't dropped but I am 20% effaced. So I'm crossing my fingers by my next appointment I will be 30% effaced and dilated to a 3. Unless my water breaks... (yeah right). I have had so many people tell me that the last month is the longest. And its sooooo true! I think its an accumulation of different things.

1. Anticipation
2. I have the room (mostly) done, but no baby...
3. His clothes are all washed, but no baby...
4. His diaper bag is all packed, but no baby...
5. His car seat is in our car, but no baby...
6. My hospital bag is all packed and ready
7. Our house is completely remodeled and clean, but no baby...
8. I'm only dilated to a 1 with 13 days to go...
9. I have dreams that I have him in my arms and it frustrates me because he isn't...
10 .Procrastination: I have procrastinated on somethings (ie finding a pediatrician)
11. Scared (will I be a good mother, will I know what to do when I need to do it, labor (enough said) will I be able to handle the rough mornings, plus more?)
12.Feeling prepared and not prepared at all
13. Also not knowing how else to prepare when I feel like I'm not prepared
14. I get scared when he doesn't move for a while
15. Any thing I eat I am nervous that it might harm the baby (my popcorn incident yesterday)

I'm sure I could go on. I don't know if every woman feels this way before they give birth but man, I'm going crazy and feeling like I'm going 5 directions at once. Thanks for listening to me vent, I'm sure that once he is here I will have a whole ton of new fears and wants and these will be just a memory.

Here is a picture of the nursery so far. My friend Ann did the adorable bear pictures! Now I have to do the vinyl lettering and put up a moon light. It will be cute!

Movie Quote:
-One person couldn't feel all that, they would explode.
-Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon.